I Run

I Run

I Run

I Run

run to escape the stresses that are binding me
run toward God to free me
run to seperate from the negative things attached to me
run after the positive things that define me
run to be strong
run to be weak
to laugh
to cry
to find the answers that I seek
run to be a part of something bigger than me
run to be alive
to stay alive
and healthy
run to release
run to energize

run to test my limits

and then exceed them
then exceed them agin the next week

I Run to run

I Live to run

I Love to run

I Was Born to run

Amnesty

Was born innocently
Corrupted quickly
In a corrupt family
Drugs
Alcohol
Lies, abuse
Cheating and violence
Covered up with (silence)
This is what I digested
“You are what you eat”
No surprise at what was manifested
Attempting to purge it everyday

Broken
With a mask that said I had it together
But inside unraveling
Emotions as unpredictable as the weather
Skin as tough a leather
Protection=self-preservation
Self hatred
Low self esteem

unable to properly express
unable to process
I made a multitude of mistakes
hurt myself and others

Now
as I am working on myself
still making mistakes
I asked for forgiveness
have been forgave
and in this chaos
of correction and healing myself and the wounds I caused
I seek Amnesty

Ugly

Hypocrite
Delusional
Simple-minded
Casual
Pseudo-intellectual
Hiding behind a mask of niceties
But shackled down by your hypocrisies
Please
Ignore my ignorance
Didn’t know you were so
Ignorant
Dependent on your illusion
White Anglo-Saxon christian
Not the least repentant
Of the daily thoughts you hide
But swear up and down
That you’re…..
PURE
Angry when the truth is approached
You recoil
Or stick your head in the sand
Don’t be angry with me
Just listen to me
If I’m not talking about you then calm down
All white people aren’t bad
All Christians aren’t bad
All black people aren’t bad
All __________ aren’t bad
I am just angry
I am just frustrated
I am just sad
That WE deflect
Deny
Lie
That we are hypocrites
That we are a flawed people
And in the period of my life
I am seeing things
Oh, I am seeing things
Clearly
And it is real ugly

Battlegrounds

On the battlefield is
The battle cry
Enemy?
Ally?
Those who win
Are the one’s who don’t die?
Regardless, families cry
And
Children that rely
On their mother or father
Are left in the streets
To find food and water
While we spend outragous costs
To fight wars already lost
Before the battle plan is even drawn up
The innocent a statistic
The dead collatoral damage
The poor survivors at a disadvantage
Because they’re an after thought
In a war forever fought
On the battlegrounds
Of our misplaced hearts

No I Didn’t

No I did not go to Vacation Bible School
and I did not grow up in the church
and I
was not raised with a “Christian Foundation”
but I felt God pick me up off the ground
with blood shot eyes
high and drunk
coming down and hung-over
I felt God pick me up
with his love
and there I knew him
No I
did not go to a Christian college
and I
did not go to Seminary
nor did I study much Theology
until later in life
But I know why Jesus sat with the
Tax collectors
and why

he went to the Samaritan woman

because God came to me the same way
I truly understand
first hand
what it means to be SAVED

and would not change my path for anything

my perspective is unique because of my life

and we must understand and Respect each others

Book published

So I finally uploaded a short book of poems for sale at www.
smashwords.com. Now I really need to start Using my blog. And writing more. The book was written in 2001 and I think I have grown a lot since then, but I wanted to show progression of my life and just share all of my work. I am hoping that I formatted it right too. And that it sales. Formatting another book I wrote in 2003 and working on 2 others, one a novella. I has felt good to be in the writing life again.

— Post From My iPod Touch

Family

Hanging out at KBCS with my brother in law Ben (DJ Able), listening to hip hop on Zulu Radio, it made me appreciate family and what we are to one another and what we can be for one another. It is very interesting how folks become family. Through marriage, experience, life and death. I am staying up a little later than normal and wired off of coffee, but happy.

I am appreciating my time with my brother and friend and do not take family for granted. God has blessed me with a great big wonderful family.

— Post From My iPod Touch

progress

Progress is….

knowing when your time is up, and letting it go

growing up and taking responsibility for lifes hiccups

but having faith that God will carry you when you are weak

progress is….

feeling okay that you are broke

happy that you’re wife and children have food

and a roof over their head

progress is….

letting go of that fast four-seater mustang dream

and waking up

comfortable behind a white Honda minivan that gets the family safe to

destinations

progress is…

forgiving friends that wronged you

but

understanding that you still have alot of healing to deal with

progress is…

progress

little by little

not measuring it and defining success

for it is a lifelong

progression

The blogging issue

It is very easy to begin a blog about yourself and begin a global commentary. I could very easily neglect my purpose for beginning my WordPress, which was for self-therapy. I needed an outlet for working out my pain, my hurt, anger, frustrations and discuss my happiness. But for many years writing poetry, performing the spoken word, I discussed my perceptions and thoughts on the world, the social injustices, and my vision of the future.

As I was thinking about what this was going to look like, I had all these topics I was going to write about I looked at them and realized that none of them had anything to do with me personally. Cassie Mae, my wife, noticed that I was spending more time creating the format and theme of the blog than writing.

I had to step back and realize what I needed to do. I can do what I did for years, share my vision, thought and imagination, but mend myself, through writing, prayer and family.

Reasons I weep

Lost childhood
Poor forgotten
The abused overlooked and blamed
Youth labeled as lost
Families splintered
Power misguided
Feel misunderstood
Humans cold and hungry
All responsible
Have done many wrongs
Not forgiven self
Memories come up often
I think of my mother
I think of my siblings lives
Relationship with my father
And it still hurts, although stronger
I work to use my experiences for Gods glory
While healing more
Day by day
By His grace
Patience
Love and faithfulness